You Working on that MRS??

Summer is on the way, which means family BBQs and get-togethers. We'll have family reunions and girls luncheons. Being the oldest unmarried person in my family means that I will have to endure the most haunting question over and over: When will you get married??

When I was 16 and at my second cousin's wedding everyone in my entire extended family approached me stating that I was next. Then at my high school graduation party, my great uncle asked me if I was working on my MRS. My MRS?? What the heck is that. As stunned as I was at this, it took me a minute to realize what he meant - my marital status, not a college degree. Since then people have been asking me nonstop when I will be walking down the aisle. More often than not, I am not in a relationship when this happens and I have to go through the whole "I'm still single Aunt Mearl" charade. Then, looking very remorseful and concerned, they rack their brains trying to find someone suitable to set me up with be it that nice young man who mows the grass or their friend Marsha's grandson's roommate.

Even if I was seeing somebody, I wouldn't bring him into the lion's den and let him be bombarded with questions. I made that mistake once thinking that if they saw I was actually with someone, they would lay off. Quite the opposite actually. That is a punishment I wouldn't wish on an ex whom I hated... well, I can't say I'd rule that out completely.

They don't care about my wonderful career. Just the lack of baby making going on. I then have to parade through the throngs of aunts and cousins looking like the 20-something year old spinster that I am. They don't want to hear that I'm happily single and getting along quite fine without a dick to look after thank-you-very-much. Once I'm cornered by old ladies with puffed out hair and a mustache and my cousin with her baby that she had out of wedlock, my mother, being the beast she is, informs everyone that I do go on dates, they just never work out. Which is true. "Maybe if you lost a little bit of weight..." "Maybe if you did something different with your hair. Men like long hair." And my absolute favorite, "Maybe if you weren't so picky..." Well, maybe. But then again, if I wasn't searching for that special something, I'd already be married and living in a trailer park with 3 kids and 14 dogs all over the place talking about leaving the SOB that promised me the world. I'm sorry. That's not me. I'd like to know who I am before I commit myself to one person.

Is it such a crime to not be married? I think not. After I think that everyone has had their say there will be the Uncle that always gets way too intoxicated and goes around informing everyone that I don't need a man, I'm past my prime anyways.

All in all my family isn't that bad. They mean well, I think. It's just very annoying to be constantly pressured into rushing into a commitment with a man I haven't even met yet. I'm sorry people. I'm content. I'm independent. I can take care of myself. I hate to tell them this but I'm not going to settle, and I don't need a three letter prefix added to my name to know who I am. So Uncle Rob... am I working on my MRS?? I think not.

Being sick makes me think

Today I was home sick. Blah I know. I have come to realize that none of my friends ever really call me to talk. Just if they want something. And that's ok because they are busy people. Its just lonely days like this that I hate it. But anyways, its almost hte weekend and I am thoroughly excited. I have no dates which means I will have no bad dates, as most dates are inevitably horrible. Be it the cheap fairy, the Me-Man or Mr. I just want to screw you. So I'm a little excited to be taking it easy. But as things can never be normal, something will pop up.

So its been a week and a half since my last ink job. My family has yet to notice my "lucky stars" as I have nicknamed them. All of my ink mean something to me. And my latest edition are my lucky stars. Hopefully to bring me luck and keep me optimistic. How they are supposed to do that, I don't know. But in my own goofy way, it helps. I need to quit being so pessimistic!!!

Emotions running high

I hate days where I feel like no matter where I turn, I’m at a dead end. Yep. That’s me today. (Stupid female emotions) But yesterday I went to see my cousin and her baby. I love them. I needed another Baby-Fix. That was fast. I’m feeling the pressure, and I definitely shouldn’t. I’m 21 years old. I have my whole life ahead of me. I yearn to be independent and an individual and be respected for me. I want to know that I can make it through life on my own. I just don’t want to. Part of me wants to be taken in and taken care of and told that I’ll always be needed and wanted. Part of me says F*ck y’all. I don’t need anybody.

It has become a recent examination of mine that every friend that I have (with the exception of my male friend Bubba) is married and/or have children. In recent months, my best and oldest friend (we’ve been friends for about 17 years) got engaged. He’s a great guy and I’m very happy for her. I’ve also been asked to be her MOH, which is a huge honor. But being around it all, is mildly depressing. I have also recently gotten in touch with a best friend that I made my Junior year of high school. I’m referring to her as Bob. Bob and I just clicked. We lost touch after high school and recently found each other via myspace. We’ve reconnected better than before and I love spending time with her, and her family. Mostly her 13 month old daughter. God love em they are so accommodating to me. Bob has always known my desire for a family life. In an effort to make me feel more involved, they have started calling me Aunt Jessi. It helps.

But in a reevaluation of my life, I feel like I am no longer in the fast lane. I’ve fallen behind. I always thought I had it all, or I was on my way. I have a great career. I’m a decently attractive woman. I have a nice car and nice family. But its not mine. I need someone to slap me on the face and tell me I’m not missing anything. With my brother graduating high school this year, I’m feeing old. This doesn’t help. My friends try not to leave me out, but when I want to go out and they’re all like, "Well, let me check with my husband/fiancée…" its hard. One side of me is like "Thank GOD I don’t have to check in with anybody!!" But part of me wishes I had someone to care where I was and be there for me when I get home. I’ll be fine and I’ll get out of this funk, eventually. I just need to vent. It’s probably all just PMS. (Sorry guys.) Sometimes I just wish I had my own life. Wish I had my own family. But in the meantime, I just have me. And that’ll have to be good enough.

Mother's Day

Another day, another holiday for women. I wish one of these Godforsaken holidays would apply to me!! One day… oh that just cracks me up to think about. But anyways, it was another day for family. We also celebrated April and May birthdays which is our busiest time of the year. This include my cousin Mark’s, my uncle John’s, my uncle Carl’s, my mother’s, my father’s and of course mine. I got to legally drink a glass of wine with dinner. No, my family aren’t wine people, (that’s so laughable) but my aunt and uncle do and I’ve gotten used to it from them. We’re all from rural western Ohio. That’s beer country. Beer and whiskey, which brings me to love my whiskey. Jeez I feel like a hick. But anyways, being as I made a huge deal out of my birthday last month, nobody really said anything about it yesterday, which was a little hurtful. I did get a souvenir from my grandma and grandpa’s cruise. Actually grandma did a good job picking it out (necklace with a blue sandal charm. Very cute even though I feel 16 wearing it.) I know they care, but still. I didn’t even get to pick a birthday dish. I would have prepared it myself. I should probably stop being a brat because my birthday was almost a month ago. Plus mom didn’t get super moody or cry all day. It was great.

It was nice to be around everyone. We mostly got along. Mom was semi-normal. It must have been the baby in our presence. My cousin brought her 3 week old baby, Kyler. I had to fight my aunt (Kyler’s grandma) to spend time with him. My cousin finally told her off and got me the baby. I needed my Baby-Fix. The more I am around babies, the less I feel the need to have one for myself. But I’ll get into that another time.

But now its on to preparation for Graduation. I’ll get into this another time. I don’t want to bore you with a novel. But for now, I have to start inputting addresses of our enormous family into the computer system to put on the envelopes. I love my brother, but he should do this. I don’t remember having help when I graduated, but I’ll leave the bitching for later. They make me feel like a Godsend when I can do things like that on the computer and make life easier for them. And we all know how I like to feel important. (I know, I know. That’s painfully obvious isn’t it?) But for now, good day.

Welcome

Welcome everyone. I'm JM. Here's me.

I have recently entered into the dating realm, again. I have a new philosophy that I will not turn down a date as long as the man is obviously not a wack job. In recent months, I have had many unfortunate scenerios that have left my friends laughing their asses off or with their mouths hanging wide open. With each new experience, I try to take something with me. This is what I hope to pass onto you. Please learn from my mistakes. Any feedback is graciously welcomed.

Of course not every blog will be dedicated to my dating life, which isn't very active (this could be a blessing). I will also ramble of friends and coworkers and obviously other things that tick me off. But I thank you all for reading. If you would like me to read your blog, I would be more than happy to. Just let me know. Also on here, I will be posting my theories of men and dating. Please bear with me as these are only theories, and any comments/feedback on them would be fantastic!!

I love you all.

JM